A Short History of the Pommeranian Piccolo Players
Mar 24, 2020 17:42:16 GMT
rbhjr and stevo0113 like this
Post by waynew on Mar 24, 2020 17:42:16 GMT
A SHORT HISTORY OF THE POMMERANIAN PICCOLO PLAYERS
In the hopes of keeping up spirits in this trying time. I will reshare a post I made on the "Old Forum" some years ago explaining the history and heritage of the one set of figures I have hoped for, sought, and lobbied for over many years. Some of you may have read this before, I hope you will enjoy it again - it has been some years. For others it is hoped that knowing the history of this stalwart band of brigands will inflame the interest of others who will join in the campaign to get these figures made.
The ancient province of Pomerania lies on the south shore of Baltic Sea, divided between the modern states of Germany and Poland. On its western border runs the River Recknitz and on its eastern border runs the Vistula. References to the province date back to the 11th century.
Since its first mention in early documents the rule of Pomerania has changed hands numerous times. Lying as it does between traditional German and Polish borders and on the shore of the Baltic Seas on a traditional path of invasion of East from West and West from East, it was natural that Pomerania should pass hands more frequently than an infant with a dirty diaper. Germans, Poles, Danes all at one time or another exercised authority over the region. Pomerania went from pagan to Roman Catholic and finally embraced the Protestant Reformation. This would have great impact on the history of its most famous military unit.
Pomerania’s best known contribution to the world is giving its name an obnoxious little lap dog that yaps at anything that moves (to any owners of Pomeranians reading this our apologies and condolences). Sadly, a much more important contribution is little known outside a small circle of historians. This was an infamous military unit who participated in just about every military conflict in Northern and Central Europe from the Middle Ages through World War II. This unit is known as the Pomeranian Piccolo Players.
The first record of the PPPs (as the Pommeranian Piccolo Players will from here on be referred) comes from a charter issued to raise a group of volunteers to oppose the rule of the Obdurite Prince Henry in the late 11th Century. From the Chronicle of Leopold the Bald One-eyed Bard we learn that this group found itself wholly unfit for battle having neither the aptitude or inclination for fighting. In an entire stanza Leopold details how the PPPs in fortifying themselves with artificial courage of the liquid kind suffered from such hangovers as to render them unable to take the field. When the camp of the rebels fell to Henry’s forces, the PPPs were discovered passed out to such a point that they were originally assumed to be dead – the victims of poison. When they recovered consciousness and realized their predicament it took very little time for them to change allegiances. It was under Henry that a use for the PPPs was discovered.
The record of Olaf Slackjaw, Henry’s Chancellor of the Record we learn that Henry was walking through his camp on the eve before a battle when he heard, according to the chronicle, “a most daemonic noise as if from the seventh pit of the inferno.” At first alarmed Henry discovered it was his newest band of vassals, the PPPs indulging in their third favorite pastime (after drinking and wenching), playing on their traditional instrument, the Pomeranian Piccolo. It was here that the PPPs received their official designation. Unfortunately, in the drafting of the charter, the commander of the regiment, Franz Turgid Steinhoffer was so drunk he added an extra “m” to Pomeranian. That explains the spelling of the name of the regiment. And also has given Pomerania plausible deniability where the PPPs are concerned – when needed.
Henry decided to use the hellish noises of the PPPs pipes to demoralize his enemies and with great success was able to enforce his rule over the region. Thus the long tradition of the PPPs was established. The PPPs tended to side with which ever side had the best (and most) wine or other alcoholic beverages, loosest women, or who appeared to be winning. The third factor was considered to be the most important as whoever had it could acquire the other two.
In 1128 when the tide of events was turning against Obdurite rule, the PPPs once more changed allegiance to the Poles, who had by then filled the void left by the Obdurites and controlled much of the region.
Thus the tradition continued throughout the Middle Ages and into the Renaissance. As professional mercenary armies became the norm, the PPPs often hired themselves out (or found themselves hired out by whoever ruled Pomerania as being too expensive to maintain). Eventually, their military effectiveness was reduced as their reputation spread. Armies no longer quaked at the surreal wailing of their piccolos and in spite of generation upon generation of players filling the ranks, no one ever seemed to sober up enough to actually learn to play the instruments.
Eventually, other kingdoms, principalities, and duchies attempted to emulate the PPPs by organizing their own peculiar regiments of specialized musicians. The first and foremost of these competitors were the Bavarian Bassoonists (BBs), whose bellicose tones could simulate an artillery bombardment. Though preferring lagers to vintages they were known to imbibe any liquid that could be held in a container and swallowed without permanent damage to the throat. Unlike the PPPs, though, they had their own auxiliary corps of females who traveled with them. The BBBs, (Bavarian Bassoonists’ Babes) followed their men through every engagement from the 17th Century through the Napoleonic Wars where it is said on the eve of the Battle of Ligny, the PPPs (now under the command of Blucher) infiltrated the Bavarian Camp and made off with their women. The resultant brawl over this incident so divided the Prussian Army as to delay Blucher’s deployment of his troops and may have cost him the battle.
There were also the Viennese Violinists, a relatively late entry to the competition. These were organized by the Emperor Francis II after he saw the chaos wrought upon his ranks by the PPPs during his various campaigns against Napoleon. They never reached the notoriety of either the PPPs or the BBs as they exceeded their contemporaries in musical talent while falling far short of their talent for debauchery. Other minor organizations include – but are not limited to – The Tyrolean Tone-deaf Trumpeteers, the Happy Hamburg Harpists, and the Frolicking French Flutists. Again, none of these attained the storied notoriety of the PPPs.
The PPPs managed to find employment in every major war (and most minor ones at that) as monarchs began to consider them as a sort of talisman for victory. After all, the PPPs always seemed to back the winning side. Also, PPPs had a knack for rooting out hidden stocks of loot, food, drink, and female companionship. A PPP defection could serve as a harbinger of disaster for a general and is believed (though it cannot be proven) to have averted several disasters. Some say, had Alexander been aware the PPPs defected to Napoleon the night before battle, Austerlitz might have been averted. As it was while his army was being annihilated, the PPPs had ensconced themselves comfortably the night before with a band of French Cantinieres of the French Imperial Guard. Some say this was part of Napoleon’s master plan.
Later on in the Napoleonic Wars, the PPPs seeing pickings were slim on the campaign, and finding Moscow stripped bare, the regiment left Napoleon’s Grande Armee to return home to Pomerania, taking the best horses, vodka, and prettiest women with them. The rest is, as they say, history.
By the Napoleonic Wars the Pommeranian Piccolo Players were as renowned for their signature lederhosen as the Scottish Highlanders were for their kilts.
Some believe the scurrilous rumor the lederhosen were appropriated from the Tyrolean Trombonists during a joint raid on the tents of the camp followers of the Austrian Army during the War of the First Coalition. The Austrians returned early from the field and surprised the PPPs and the TTs in flagrante delecto causing them to dress hastily. In the rush, many PPPs whose expertise in such situations is legendary, beat the TTs to the punch in grabbing clothes, grabbing many of their lederhosen in the process and leaving the TTs uncovered as they ran into the night to escape the wrath of the raging Austrians, who were already mad enough at having had their hats handed to them by Bonaparte that day.
According to the rumor, which was flatly denied by PPPs at the time (though they admitted their memories of the occasion were somewhat vague), the PPPs liked the lederhosen so much they refused to return them. This, and the subsequent raid on the TTs' wash lines, to get enough trousers to fit the rest of the regiment, is what caused the intense hatred experienced between the two outfits that lasted until the First World War, when they were brigaded together with the Bavarian Bassoonists. The BB's raided both regiments' stores, drank all the beer in the kegs and replaced them with, well, the fruit of drinking all that beer.
The sad thing is, the PPP's and TT's were halfway through the kegs before they realized the switch. But that's another era and would require entirely new uniforms...
The fact that lederhosen, once extremely popular in the Central European region was falling out of fashion at the time the PPPs adopted them as an integral part of their uniform worked to more firmly identify them with the item of clothing. It also stands as a further example of either their utter contempt for social norms or the extent of their intoxication during an entire era.
As the modern age of warfare dawned, the PPPs discovered their place in modern armies, always of dubious value, diminishing. During the First World War the sound of their piccolos were often mistaken for incoming artillery rounds, causing Russian soldiers on the Eastern Front to duck under cover as German infantry advanced upon their positions. In the Second World War their sound was likened to that made by JU-87 “Stuka” Dive Bombers.
With the end of World War II, the PPPs were disbanded by the Soviet Army as being bourgeoisie; the PPPs propensity for wine and women were deemed unsuitable for the new communist reality. Most former PPPs considered themselves fortunate to avoid imprisonment. With the end of World War II and the advent of the Cold War an era and a heritage came to an end. It is hoped with a HaT set (or several depicting the PPPs’ and their foes’ various uniforms in several conflicts) will not only serve to commemorate their unique and invaluable contribution to military history, but also revive interest in them as a serious subject for historical study.
In the hopes of keeping up spirits in this trying time. I will reshare a post I made on the "Old Forum" some years ago explaining the history and heritage of the one set of figures I have hoped for, sought, and lobbied for over many years. Some of you may have read this before, I hope you will enjoy it again - it has been some years. For others it is hoped that knowing the history of this stalwart band of brigands will inflame the interest of others who will join in the campaign to get these figures made.
The ancient province of Pomerania lies on the south shore of Baltic Sea, divided between the modern states of Germany and Poland. On its western border runs the River Recknitz and on its eastern border runs the Vistula. References to the province date back to the 11th century.
Since its first mention in early documents the rule of Pomerania has changed hands numerous times. Lying as it does between traditional German and Polish borders and on the shore of the Baltic Seas on a traditional path of invasion of East from West and West from East, it was natural that Pomerania should pass hands more frequently than an infant with a dirty diaper. Germans, Poles, Danes all at one time or another exercised authority over the region. Pomerania went from pagan to Roman Catholic and finally embraced the Protestant Reformation. This would have great impact on the history of its most famous military unit.
Pomerania’s best known contribution to the world is giving its name an obnoxious little lap dog that yaps at anything that moves (to any owners of Pomeranians reading this our apologies and condolences). Sadly, a much more important contribution is little known outside a small circle of historians. This was an infamous military unit who participated in just about every military conflict in Northern and Central Europe from the Middle Ages through World War II. This unit is known as the Pomeranian Piccolo Players.
The first record of the PPPs (as the Pommeranian Piccolo Players will from here on be referred) comes from a charter issued to raise a group of volunteers to oppose the rule of the Obdurite Prince Henry in the late 11th Century. From the Chronicle of Leopold the Bald One-eyed Bard we learn that this group found itself wholly unfit for battle having neither the aptitude or inclination for fighting. In an entire stanza Leopold details how the PPPs in fortifying themselves with artificial courage of the liquid kind suffered from such hangovers as to render them unable to take the field. When the camp of the rebels fell to Henry’s forces, the PPPs were discovered passed out to such a point that they were originally assumed to be dead – the victims of poison. When they recovered consciousness and realized their predicament it took very little time for them to change allegiances. It was under Henry that a use for the PPPs was discovered.
The record of Olaf Slackjaw, Henry’s Chancellor of the Record we learn that Henry was walking through his camp on the eve before a battle when he heard, according to the chronicle, “a most daemonic noise as if from the seventh pit of the inferno.” At first alarmed Henry discovered it was his newest band of vassals, the PPPs indulging in their third favorite pastime (after drinking and wenching), playing on their traditional instrument, the Pomeranian Piccolo. It was here that the PPPs received their official designation. Unfortunately, in the drafting of the charter, the commander of the regiment, Franz Turgid Steinhoffer was so drunk he added an extra “m” to Pomeranian. That explains the spelling of the name of the regiment. And also has given Pomerania plausible deniability where the PPPs are concerned – when needed.
Henry decided to use the hellish noises of the PPPs pipes to demoralize his enemies and with great success was able to enforce his rule over the region. Thus the long tradition of the PPPs was established. The PPPs tended to side with which ever side had the best (and most) wine or other alcoholic beverages, loosest women, or who appeared to be winning. The third factor was considered to be the most important as whoever had it could acquire the other two.
In 1128 when the tide of events was turning against Obdurite rule, the PPPs once more changed allegiance to the Poles, who had by then filled the void left by the Obdurites and controlled much of the region.
Thus the tradition continued throughout the Middle Ages and into the Renaissance. As professional mercenary armies became the norm, the PPPs often hired themselves out (or found themselves hired out by whoever ruled Pomerania as being too expensive to maintain). Eventually, their military effectiveness was reduced as their reputation spread. Armies no longer quaked at the surreal wailing of their piccolos and in spite of generation upon generation of players filling the ranks, no one ever seemed to sober up enough to actually learn to play the instruments.
Eventually, other kingdoms, principalities, and duchies attempted to emulate the PPPs by organizing their own peculiar regiments of specialized musicians. The first and foremost of these competitors were the Bavarian Bassoonists (BBs), whose bellicose tones could simulate an artillery bombardment. Though preferring lagers to vintages they were known to imbibe any liquid that could be held in a container and swallowed without permanent damage to the throat. Unlike the PPPs, though, they had their own auxiliary corps of females who traveled with them. The BBBs, (Bavarian Bassoonists’ Babes) followed their men through every engagement from the 17th Century through the Napoleonic Wars where it is said on the eve of the Battle of Ligny, the PPPs (now under the command of Blucher) infiltrated the Bavarian Camp and made off with their women. The resultant brawl over this incident so divided the Prussian Army as to delay Blucher’s deployment of his troops and may have cost him the battle.
There were also the Viennese Violinists, a relatively late entry to the competition. These were organized by the Emperor Francis II after he saw the chaos wrought upon his ranks by the PPPs during his various campaigns against Napoleon. They never reached the notoriety of either the PPPs or the BBs as they exceeded their contemporaries in musical talent while falling far short of their talent for debauchery. Other minor organizations include – but are not limited to – The Tyrolean Tone-deaf Trumpeteers, the Happy Hamburg Harpists, and the Frolicking French Flutists. Again, none of these attained the storied notoriety of the PPPs.
The PPPs managed to find employment in every major war (and most minor ones at that) as monarchs began to consider them as a sort of talisman for victory. After all, the PPPs always seemed to back the winning side. Also, PPPs had a knack for rooting out hidden stocks of loot, food, drink, and female companionship. A PPP defection could serve as a harbinger of disaster for a general and is believed (though it cannot be proven) to have averted several disasters. Some say, had Alexander been aware the PPPs defected to Napoleon the night before battle, Austerlitz might have been averted. As it was while his army was being annihilated, the PPPs had ensconced themselves comfortably the night before with a band of French Cantinieres of the French Imperial Guard. Some say this was part of Napoleon’s master plan.
Later on in the Napoleonic Wars, the PPPs seeing pickings were slim on the campaign, and finding Moscow stripped bare, the regiment left Napoleon’s Grande Armee to return home to Pomerania, taking the best horses, vodka, and prettiest women with them. The rest is, as they say, history.
By the Napoleonic Wars the Pommeranian Piccolo Players were as renowned for their signature lederhosen as the Scottish Highlanders were for their kilts.
Some believe the scurrilous rumor the lederhosen were appropriated from the Tyrolean Trombonists during a joint raid on the tents of the camp followers of the Austrian Army during the War of the First Coalition. The Austrians returned early from the field and surprised the PPPs and the TTs in flagrante delecto causing them to dress hastily. In the rush, many PPPs whose expertise in such situations is legendary, beat the TTs to the punch in grabbing clothes, grabbing many of their lederhosen in the process and leaving the TTs uncovered as they ran into the night to escape the wrath of the raging Austrians, who were already mad enough at having had their hats handed to them by Bonaparte that day.
According to the rumor, which was flatly denied by PPPs at the time (though they admitted their memories of the occasion were somewhat vague), the PPPs liked the lederhosen so much they refused to return them. This, and the subsequent raid on the TTs' wash lines, to get enough trousers to fit the rest of the regiment, is what caused the intense hatred experienced between the two outfits that lasted until the First World War, when they were brigaded together with the Bavarian Bassoonists. The BB's raided both regiments' stores, drank all the beer in the kegs and replaced them with, well, the fruit of drinking all that beer.
The sad thing is, the PPP's and TT's were halfway through the kegs before they realized the switch. But that's another era and would require entirely new uniforms...
The fact that lederhosen, once extremely popular in the Central European region was falling out of fashion at the time the PPPs adopted them as an integral part of their uniform worked to more firmly identify them with the item of clothing. It also stands as a further example of either their utter contempt for social norms or the extent of their intoxication during an entire era.
As the modern age of warfare dawned, the PPPs discovered their place in modern armies, always of dubious value, diminishing. During the First World War the sound of their piccolos were often mistaken for incoming artillery rounds, causing Russian soldiers on the Eastern Front to duck under cover as German infantry advanced upon their positions. In the Second World War their sound was likened to that made by JU-87 “Stuka” Dive Bombers.
With the end of World War II, the PPPs were disbanded by the Soviet Army as being bourgeoisie; the PPPs propensity for wine and women were deemed unsuitable for the new communist reality. Most former PPPs considered themselves fortunate to avoid imprisonment. With the end of World War II and the advent of the Cold War an era and a heritage came to an end. It is hoped with a HaT set (or several depicting the PPPs’ and their foes’ various uniforms in several conflicts) will not only serve to commemorate their unique and invaluable contribution to military history, but also revive interest in them as a serious subject for historical study.
